You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
