Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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