Me too!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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