Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
