is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
