my soul wont recognize me after tonight
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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