I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If I die, sorry about rent.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
