I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
