A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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