She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
