hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
