He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have aggressive nipples.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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