Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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