the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
