whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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