The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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