The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
