don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
