Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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