I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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