Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
