took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
