me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
