We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
