I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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