Have you finally orgasmed yet?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
