if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
