I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
