and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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