I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
