In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
