The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
