BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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