Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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