Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
