So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
