I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
