my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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