I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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