Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
