Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
