i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
