We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm both gender and math confused
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
