Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
