Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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