you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
