What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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