Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Less talking, more tequila
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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