I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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