So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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