The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I booty called her while she was in labor.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The uberlube is also flammable
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
