Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
