Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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