I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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