The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
