My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
