No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
