You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
