I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
a search helicopter?!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
