Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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