Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
