We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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