she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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