We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
